i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
