so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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