We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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