but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
