ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
