he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
