There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
