I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
