Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i think my cat just said my name.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
