wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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