WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
