Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
