I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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