They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
