After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
