Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Drake has all the answers
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
