This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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