Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
