I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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