The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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