i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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