i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
