I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She even gives head with a lisp.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
