we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
