you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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