Buhtt sex?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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