There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I didn't notice because vodka
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
