Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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