That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
