Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
