Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
