His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
