Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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