I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
