So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
