Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
