I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
