you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
