After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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