my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
