Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
