You're a womanizer and a bitch.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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