I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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