so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
