There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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