so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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