Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Randomize
