Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
