"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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