i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
