If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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