I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
