she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
